Updated: Apr 11, 2020
How developing a practice beats creating a routine A dōjō Practice with Fernanda Bressan.
Coronavirus has disrupted everybody’s routines. Our away from home and our home schedules have merged into one. Forcing us to fix meals between zoom calls, do laundry while doing yoga, and to be teachers, parents, and playmates all at once. Most of us are functioning out of our comfort zone and we miss, oh we miss, the reassurance of our old routines.
Our guest Fernanda Bressan, Executive Coach and Founder of Foundfully, has taken an approach that's helping her, her husband and her daughter build connections and find opportunities. Based on the belief that in life you never know what you are going to get (wise) they are opening wide open the dialogue between them. “We are juggling time, space and everybody’s needs” and instead of creating new routines, we are creating a new set of practices. The application of a method -dialogue will bring us closer, instead of a sequence of actions -a routine. So each day they talk about the beautiful, the uncomfortable and the hopeful of the day. (Rose, thorn, bud) and at night before going to sleep they share what they are grateful for. Leaving room for the unpredictability of these days to unfold, but making pit-stops along the way to check on the emotional needs of the family in a very smart and human approach.
What’s interesting is that this approach is exactly what Psychologist Alison Gopnik wrote in her book The gardener and the carpenter. Her view is that Children are designed to be messy and unpredictable, playful and imaginative, and very different both from their parents and from each other. The variability and flexibility of childhood let them innovate, create, and survive in an unpredictable world. Creating a practice (not a routine) driven by consistency, care, and determination will help you and your kids find comfort in the discomfort of routines being disrupted.
Thank you, Fer!
PRACTICE DETAILS Time 15 to 30 minutes Who Everyone in your family Level of expertise None required to begin Process Ask each person in the family to take a few minutes to write down one rose (something the enjoyed or loved) and one thorn (something they didn't enjoy) and a bud (something they can see as an opportunity)from their day. Each person takes a few minutes to share and the rest simply listen or ask deepening questions. Tools Mindfulness practices via the Mindful School Headspace (for family and kids) Pro-tip Practice 3 to 5 min meditation circles with your whole family including your kids. Run a feedback session with your kids where they tell you one thing they appreciate and one thing you could improve.