Trust your kids, their journey, and the process.
A dōjō Practice with Maya Hisse.
We are on a quest to raise kids who become self-committed, aware, self-sufficient, responsible, accountable, kind to themselves and to others, and overall a good addition to society.
We wholeheartedly believe they are capable of becoming all that and more, IF, and only IF we are able to get out of their way.
This realization is fairly new to us, we used to think very differently. Three years ago we were navigating parenting unintentionally; with lots of love, a borrowed compass, and with no clear end goal in mind.
Educating versus creating space for our kids to grow and learn. Not asking many questions nor questioning assumptions. We often wish we could get a second chance and do it all over again. Especially now that we are aware that we have the ability to change past conditioning and programmed instinct. (Thank you Deepak Chopra and Dr. Shefali for aiding our enlightening)
If we could do it all over again we would adopt the philosophy Maya Hisse, Co-Founder of All Trades Austin Contracting Co., so generously shares with us. Their approach as a family is to start with the end in mind and by asking powerful questions:
How do we prepare them for when we are not around?
What do we wish for them?
The answers to these questions have become the vision they translate into daily habits and exhibited behaviors. Rooted in a deep trust in the process and in their kids’ ability to navigate and live their own journeys. While it might seem indifferent to many under deeper inspection is generosity and intentionality at their best.
These are our favorite quotes from our chat with Maya:
"It might seem that when we are letting go or stepping back we are being passive, and actually it is the opposite it is a very active process.” Being able to be supportive but not involved."
"Our practice has been to let the situations unfold as we trust our children to make the decision they are going to make to be beneficial to their development and having that experience and growing from it. No matter the outcome."
"It helps to dream together about our kids' future."
We take this question with us as a guiding light from now on: How much are we letting them learn?
Thank you, Maya, so deeply!
INSPIRING LINKS Benefits of raising autonomous children Shaping space and practice to develop autonomy 7 habits of highly succesful people book The Awakened Family book (the best book you will EVER read) Teaching kids autonomy
dōjō STREAM lessons related to this post: Raising autonomous children (and trusting parents) with Iñaki and Hazel For daily(ish) inspiration subsscribe to our dōjō DAILY newsletter listen to our podcast dōjō UNSCRIPTED where our kids help us keep it "real".